


High on Loving You.

by thesameoldfairytale



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Canon Trans Character, Changing POV, David is going away for two weeks, F/M, Happy ending though, Lots of musical references, M/M, Matteo can't quite cope, Rated for chapter 2, canon compliant up until the end of ep 10 of season 3, this will be quite sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-04-23 14:03:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19152517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesameoldfairytale/pseuds/thesameoldfairytale
Summary: At the end of August, David is heading off to Fürstenberg to visit his godmother for two weeks. Now that the last night before he has to leave is finally here, things between him and Matteo are tense, but neither one wants to address the elephant in the room. Matteo doesn't want to talk and David worries too much, that's at least what they think about each other. Lost and on his own again, Matteo tries his best to cope but doesn't quite know how to keep going. David and the others try every trick in the book to get him to open up. Will their mission be successful or is Matteo broken beyond repair?





	1. I.

It was supposed to be just another Friday night, another party, another couple of drinks. But David knew this wasn’t going to be  _ just _ another Friday night. This was very different and he dreaded the implications of it all.

“I don’t have to go if you don’t want me to,” he said carefully, letting his fingers run through Matteo’s messy hair as they were lying on Matteo’s unmade bed.

Matteo slowly raised his head off of his shoulder then, silently as if he was contemplating whether or not to take David up on his offer. 

“No,” Matteo said after a moment of deliberation, before he put his head back down, snuggling into the curve of David’s neck. He reached out to entwine their fingers when he mumbled, “You should go. I’ll be fine.”

It was obvious that Matteo would not be fine but David didn’t want to argue with him. 

Ever since he had told Matteo that he would be going away for two weeks to visit his godmother in Fürstenberg at the end of August, Matteo had grown quieter with each passing day. He had never been one to talk much, usually just when prompted, but lately it was hard to ignore Matteo’s low moods. 

“Pass me your laptop,” David said, holding his hand out. “Let’s listen to some music before everyone else is going to disturb our peace later.”

The only way he knew Matteo had heard him and actually registered his words was the fact that Matteo fidgeted for a few moments, getting into a more comfortable position as David sat up slightly against the wall behind the bed. Matteo pressed a quick kiss to David’s shoulder before he scooted up further to hide his face in the crook of his neck once again, his arm flung tightly over David’s stomach, holding onto him like he would never let go again.

It was this, this clinginess, that worried David the most. It wasn’t even worrisome that Matteo was quiet, because he didn’t actually distance himself from David. But the less he talked, the more physical closeness he so obviously craved. And it scared David a lot. He would be away for two weeks and he had absolutely no idea how Matteo would cope in his absence. 

He sighed inaudibly, still trying his best to conceal his concern from Matteo, who, most likely, wouldn’t even notice it anyway.

David logged in to his Spotify account. He had so many playlists there that he was sure he would find something to ease the tension in his stomach. He clicked through a few songs, none of which calmed him down until Matteo’s voice, tinged with sleepiness, came alive again.

“You listen to some weird shit,” he simply said but the faint amusement in that statement didn’t go by David.

“And you don’t?” David asked in return, unable to hide his hopeful smile.

“No,” Matteo said before he looked up at David, the corner of his mouth raised in a lopsided grin. 

“It’s not just about the music, you know?” David said, grinning back at Matteo. “Sometimes it’s more about the lyrics.”

David pressed a quick kiss to Matteo’s red lips, smiling into it. He was about to lean back when Matteo’s hand snuck behind his neck to keep him in place. 

He just let it happen. David didn’t try to get away, if anything he was trying to get closer. He needed this affection from Matteo as much as Matteo needed it from him. They had grown so infatuated with each other, that the thought of being away for two weeks became almost unbearable.

Matteo’s kisses had a tendency to grow frantic in a short matter of time but this kiss now, this was very different. It was sweet and slow, passionate and full of love. Matteo didn’t push and David didn’t need him to. Kissing Matteo now felt so natural, like it was something David had known how to do all his life.

David couldn’t help himself but reach up to brush some of Matteo’s messy hair out of his face. They were both slightly out of breath by the time they broke apart, foreheads resting against each other in a silent sign of trust.

“You’re my diamond in the rough,” Matteo said out of the blue and in English, much to David’s surprise.

“What?” David asked perplexed, leaning back a little bit without taking his hand away from the side of Matteo’s neck where it was still running over soft skin.

“The song,” Matteo just said, briefly pointing at the laptop in David’s lap.

David hadn’t even noticed that the music had changed, that a new song had begun playing, but Matteo obviously had listened. 

Paolo Nutini’s ‘ _ Candy _ ’ was playing, a song that David knew inside and out.

“Did you really actively listen to the song while we were kissing?” he asked a little dumbfounded but amused at the same time. He was surprised that Matteo did not only listened intently to the song but even picked up on its lyrics.

“I always listen,” Matteo said, shrugging his shoulders, before he leaned back to rest his head on David’s shoulder once more. 

They listened quietly to the rest of the song and David was tempted to play it again, but when it ended and Matteo spoke up again, he immediately forgot about it and just let the next song play.

“Just give me some candy, hm?” Matteo mumbled sleepily into David’s neck. 

David couldn’t tell if Matteo really understood the double meaning of the lyrics but when Matteo said, “Maybe you can give  _ me _ some candy tonight before you have to go tomorrow,” he was certain he would’ve spit out his drink if he had a drink right then and there.

“Excuse me,” he said, coughing a little, “what was that?”

Matteo just shrugged again without looking at David. “I’m not saying it again.”

David laughed at that, reminiscent of the first time Matteo had told him he loved him. He wouldn’t push him to say it again because he had understood every word perfectly. David was simply a little taken aback at Matteo’s sudden bluntness.

He made Matteo look at him then, raised his head to be able to kiss him. Before their lips connected, David whispered a few words against Matteo’s mouth. 

“I’ll give you everything you want tonight if you kiss me again right now,” he said.

Matteo perched up at that. He took the laptop out of David’s lap and put it beside them on the bed. The playlist would just go on without either of them having to monitor it. They wouldn’t really pay attention in the next few minutes anyway, David thought when Matteo pulled him down to lie flat on his back to hover over him.

“I will never stop kissing you,” Matteo said before he leaned down to kiss David in the most amazing and bone-tingling way possible.

David didn’t want to do anything but believe him. He so desperately wanted to believe every word that passed Matteo’s lips. 

 

-

 

The party was already in full swing. Everyone was dancing, drinking, smoking, and everything else one of their parties entailed. It wasn’t even that late yet, barely 10.30pm, and some people still seemed to already be on the brink between pleasantly drunk and too drunk, but Matteo, for once, wasn’t one of those people. He was still on his first bottle of beer and even that one he had barely touched yet.

It wasn’t like he didn’t want to be there or that he wasn’t having a good time. He would have just preferred to spend the last few hours before David went away, well, with David, alone. But as he looked around his own living room, watching as his friends danced to music he had never even heard of before, he realised that there was probably no chance of getting some alone time with David tonight, despite what they were saying to each other earlier on his bed.

Matteo was incredibly glad and happy that his friends had taken David in like he had always been one of them, no questions asked. The downside was that the more time David spend with the others, the more often Matteo had to share him which was something he wasn’t particularly fond of.

He had quickly found out that David wasn’t just into movies, he was also obsessed with music. One day, David told him that he used to play piano, something he had picked up from his sister Laura, but that he had stopped playing when he started to transition. It was Matteo who had found that spark in David again, who had convinced him that he shouldn’t give up on it. 

In the end though, it was probably Jonas of all people who gave David that last push he had needed to wipe the dust of his piano and begin playing again. Jonas and David had spend a lot of time together since school had ended, writing songs, coming up with melodies and new tunes. 

Matteo was really, really happy they got along, no doubt about it, and most of the time he was even there when they were writing new songs or just goofing around, watching them work in sync as if it was the most natural thing in the world. But sometimes, when he had to give David up for someone else to spend time with him, sometimes Matteo wished he had David all to himself.

He was still nursing his first bottle of beer, slumped against the doorframe to his own room, when David came up behind him, sneaking his arms around his waist. 

David pressed a quick kiss to the side of his neck before he rested his chin on Matteo’s shoulder.

“You okay?” David asked, stealing the bottle of beer out of Matteo’s hand to take a sip.

“Sure,” Matteo simply said as his eyes didn’t leave the provisional dance floor where his friends were going crazy jumping around.

They stood there in silence for a moment, something they had been doing a lot lately, just watching everyone else having fun. Matteo wished he could be one of those people but there was too much on his mind that was dragging him down.

David suddenly snuck around him to stand in front of him. “We can go, you know?” he said, giving Matteo an out, presenting him with an opportunity to leave all this behind and just spend time alone together, as if he knew exactly what Matteo was hoping for. “We can stay over at my place and just…”

Matteo didn’t let him finish. “No, it’s alright,” he said, even though everything inside him was burning because it was  _ not _ alright. “You’ll be gone for two weeks. You should have some fun before you go.”

David smiled at him gingerly. “Only if you’re sure,” he said, half stating it, half asking it.

“I’m sure,” Matteo said instantly, giving David a reaffirming kiss to wash away David’s, and his own, doubt.

In an instant, David’s arms were around his neck, pulling him in, and for just a fleeting couple of seconds, Matteo forgot that they weren’t alone, that they were surrounded by a thumping bass, by loud screams, by overly excited people dancing around like there was no tomorrow. For a few seconds it was just the two of them in their own world, their lips desperate for each other, desperate to touch to make it all seem real.

When David pulled away, he pulled Matteo out of this world and back to reality.

“I will never get tired of kissing you,” David said quietly, his words only made for Matteo’s ears.

This now, this sudden confession, made Matteo blush, like he did so often when David’s honesty took him by surprise.

He was just about to say something to David in return when ‘ _ Uptown Funk _ ’ came crashing out of the speakers and David’s eyes widened.

Without a warning, David turned around. Matteo saw Jonas, his eyes just as wide as David’s, his ex-crush and his current crush almost running towards one another before they began to let loose completely. They danced along to every note, sang along to every word of the song. It might have been one of the strangest sights Matteo had ever laid his eyes on.

“Looks like they’re having fun,” Hanna said with a smile curling around her lips, as she came to a halt next Matteo, a half-empty bottle of some sort of sparkling wine in her hand.

“They’re idiots,” Matteo simply said, looking over at her for a moment and returning her smile, but even he could hear the fondness in his own voice as his eyes went back over to where David and Jonas were dancing.

All of this felt incredibly strange but oh so good at the same time. Matteo wouldn’t really want to change anything. 

 

-

 

Jonas wasn’t really that much of a dancer, unlike David, that was for sure. ‘ _ Uptown Funk _ ’ had fucked him up so much that he had been forced to take a break as soon as the song was over. Hannah had dragged him over to the side for some one-on-one time. Jonas had whispered  _ sorry _ to David, who just laughed at them both, probably thankful for a break as well. He figured David would go off with Matteo anyway. As long as those two had each other to fall back onto, they would be safe and Jonas didn’t have to worry about either of them. 

Not long after, Jonas had been dragged into a dance battle with Abdi and Carlos, then into a weird dance off with the girls which the guys lost horribly. 

Now he really needed a proper break, and preferably another drink, so he made his way into the kitchen where he found Matteo and David talking, Matteo sitting on one of the high bar stools at the table, David standing between his legs with his hands on Matteo’s neck.

“Dude, your room is like twenty steps that way,” Jonas said teasingly as he pointed in the direction of Matteo’s room, before he opened the fridge to get himself another beer. 

“Asshole,” Matteo said, throwing a small ball of paper in Jonas’s direction and accurately hitting his head.

“Since when did you get good at sports?” Jonas mocked him, much to David’s amusement. He was about to head out of the kitchen to avoid another paper ball coming his way when Hanna and Mia came running into the kitchen.

Matteo had no chance to retort anything before the girls grabbed David by his arm to haul him away to dance with them. Jonas noticed how Matteo didn’t let go of David’s hand until the very last possible second. David gave Matteo an apologetic look before he was already out of the kitchen with the girls.

Jonas noticed the tension in the air when he sat down opposite Matteo at the table.

“You okay, man?” Jonas asked, taking a sip of his ice cold beer, his eyes focused on Matteo who seemed to avoid his nevertheless.

“Sure,” Matteo replied. “I just wish people would stop asking me that.”

Jonas’s brows furrowed at that response but he let it go. He watched Matteo peel off the label of his beer, how he was scratching his barely there fingernails over the sticky paper. 

Neither of them said anything for a while, the music from the living room reaching their ears easily to fill the silence, but eventually Jonas couldn’t take it any longer.

“People would probably stop asking you if you’re okay if you stopped looking so miserable,” he said without any malice in his voice whatsoever.

That was the moment Matteo finally looked up and directly at him, no words passing his lips though.

“Seriously dude,” Jonas said, leaning a little over the table, “what’s going on with you?” 

“I’m fine,” Matteo said once again but Jonas didn’t buy his bullshit. 

He had noticed how his best friend had distanced himself again over the last few weeks. He had seen Matteo with David today and there was no sign that there was trouble in paradise between those two, so Jonas seriously wondered what caused Matteo to withdraw himself again and again. 

“Yeah, dude, no,” Jonas just said. “Spill it.”

Matteo sighed visibly. He had never been big on sharing how he felt but Jonas would push him until he did. There was no other way he could help him.

“David is leaving tomorrow for two weeks to go see his godmother,” Matteo explained, avoiding looking at Jonas when he said that.

Jonas actually believed Matteo, believed him that this was the reason he had been in such a foul mood lately. David had told him about this a little while ago but he hadn’t thought about how, if at all, this trip would affect Matteo.

“He told me,” Jonas said. Matteo just nodded. He had probably expected as much. “And you don’t want him to go?”

That made Matteo stare at him again. The look on his face was one of indecision, sadness and guilt.

“No,” Matteo said honestly. “But I don’t want him to stay here just because of me.”

Jonas understood that sentiment too well. He had been torn over stuff like that in the past as well. But just because he knew what conflicting emotions Matteo was fighting, didn’t mean that it made it any easier to watch Matteo fall apart.

“Have you told him any of this?” Jonas asked, curious now, but already suspecting what Matteo would say. 

“Of course not,” Matteo said, putting his now labelless bottle on the table in front of him. “I don’t want him to feel bad for having fun, you know?” 

Jonas got that as well, but he marvelled at how grown up Matteo seemed. He had made major steps into adult life since David had entered the picture. 

Just as Jonas was about to at least attempt to make Matteo feel better, David came rushing back into the kitchen. He immediately put his arm around Matteo’s shoulders, pressing a kiss to his temple. Jonas didn’t miss how Matteo leaned into that simple touch.

“The girls are crazy,” David said, a little out of breath. “It’s almost like they all had nothing but sugar all day. Too much energy. They are going to crash and burn soon, I’m sure.”

Jonas laughed along but when he saw Matteo’s sad attempts to save face, he felt horrible inside. 

“Let’s go join them before it’s all over,” David said, taking Matteo’s hand and dragging him out of the kitchen before Matteo could stop him.

Jonas just looked after them. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, lost as to what he could possibly do to help Matteo cope.

“So this is where you’re hiding,” he suddenly heard Hanna’s voice close to his ears. He lifted his head to look at her and smiled, seriously happy to see her.

“Everything okay?” she asked him as she put an arm around his shoulders, just like David had done with Matteo a few moments ago. 

Jonas leaned into the embrace before he kissed Hanna quickly.

“I’m worried about Matteo,” he confessed. 

He hugged Hanna tight, knowing full well that Matteo could still be a sore spot for her even though they all seemed to have worked things out between them. He didn’t know what kind of reaction he expected from Hanna, but it definitely wasn’t her sighing and agreeing.

“Yeah,” she said, “me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More tomorrow. Stay tuned.
> 
> Feedback in any form is always appreciated. <3


	2. II.

At some point during the night, some time just before midnight, the first ones started to crash and burn, just like David had predicted. Carlos and Kiki were the first ones to doze off, lanky limbs spread out across one of the sofas, Kiki’s face all squishy against Carlos’s shoulder.

David could only smirk when he saw them snoozing despite the still incredibly loud music blasting from the speakers. He had a fantastic time but when he watched Carlos and Kiki snuggled up the way they were, he craved that intimacy as well.

Determined to not ask again but to actually tell Matteo that they should go to his place now, he made his way over to where Matteo was talking to Amira. 

“Hey,” he said, greeting them both.

The way Matteo smiled back at him made his knees weak and just reinforced his desire to leave and spend some alone time with him.

Matteo snuck an arm around his waist in an instant, drawing him in close. David noticed the way Amira was smiling at them but she didn’t say anything to them besides her farewell.

“I want to go too,” David said, slowly putting his arms around Matteo’s neck. He was standing so impossibly close to him that he could feel Matteo’s body temperature radiating off of him.

“And leave all this behind?” Matteo asked mockingly, gesturing over everything and everyone, alive or half-dead, still filling the living room.

Following Matteo’s line of sight, David took in the entire room. Amira was saying her goodbyes while Carlos and Kiki briefly stirred but didn’t seem to wake up. Jonas and Hanna were somewhat slow dancing even though the music was anything but slow. Abdi and Sam were still jumping around like they would never stop. Mia and Alex were nowhere to be seen, and Hans, Linn and a bunch of their friends seemed to be in their own universe, dancing until the sun would come up.

David loved them all one way or another, but he would give all of this up in a heartbeat to be alone with Matteo.

“I’ve got you, don’t I?” he said, doing that tiny head tilt, he knew was driving Matteo crazy.

Matteo’s grin was answer enough before they leaned into each other for a kiss. Things were easily heating up when Jonas shouted, “Your room is right there, dude!”

David just grinned but Matteo flipped Jonas off, before he took David’s hand in his and dragged him along. First into his room to grab his jacket and then out into the hallway, snitching his keys off of the small side table. 

They could hear Jonas and the others who were still awake whistling after them but they paid them no mind.

“You sure you don’t want to stay here?” Matteo asked, the teasing edge to his voice so obvious, David couldn’t do anything but laugh. 

They practically ran down the stairwell, hand in hand. The bike ride to David’s place was filled with nothing but their laughter and lovesick smiles, and David was reminded once again how comfortable silence could be between two people. 

It didn’t take long for them to arrive back at David’s place. They secured their bikes and ran up the stairs, hand in hand again, just as fast as they went down back at Matteo’s building.

David could barely open the door without Matteo trying to touch him, to be close to him. He fumbled with his keys until the door finally opened. They were stumbling inside without a second thought, at least until Matteo asked, “Is Laura around?”

“No,” David replied instantly, his keys now long forgotten somewhere on the floor by the door. When Laura had told him that she would be out late, he hadn’t really listened to her explain any more, because it just didn’t matter as long as he was alone with Matteo.

The undeniable grin that spread across Matteo’s lips was reaction enough. He was just as glad as David that they would get to really be alone, just the two of them with no one around who could interrupt them. 

They somehow made it into David’s bedroom, the door slammed shut behind them with a loud bang neither of them cared about. 

And then suddenly they were thrown back into the past to the very first time they stood in that room, the tension, the excitement, all of it building up until they couldn’t take it anymore. 

The lightning in the room was dim, the window open wide to let the summer breeze in, even at night. David had no idea how or even why they disentangled themselves from one another but when he put one of his Spotify playlists on again, Matteo was still standing in the middle of the room, watching his every move.

David didn’t pay too much attention to which playlist he chose but the first song was slow, the atmosphere just right for the situation. His eyes were glued to Matteo, to his messy hair that shone golden in the fairy lights, to his tiny dimples that Matteo couldn’t hide whenever he had that dreamy look on his face. Sometimes it was still hard for David to comprehend how he had gotten so lucky, that not only did he fall in love, he actually fell in love with someone who loved him back unconditionally.

He took cautious steps towards Matteo, who seemed to actively register every single step, every sway of his hips, and every exhale of his lungs.

“Hey,” David said quietly, coming to a halt right in front of Matteo.

For a fraction of a second, Matteo seemed to think about what he would or could say, but all that passed his lips right then was single whispered, “Hey.”

And then, just like the very first time, David reached up. He carefully opened Matteo’s jacket, his eyes following the zipper down until Matteo could shrug the jacket off of his shoulders. 

Both their breaths were laboured, their lungs working overtime. David let his hands run up Matteo’s arms, from his fingertips, over his elbow and upper arm, before they came to a stop at the side of Matteo’s neck.

Time seemed to stand still as they were taking each other in completely. David could have looked at Matteo for an eternity as long as Matteo would look at him the same way. 

At some point, David couldn’t begin to comprehend how long they had just been standing there with barely an inch of space between them, Matteo leaned forward. He was cautious, every move deliberate like he didn’t want to spook David. 

It wasn’t the first, the second or even the third time they got this close. They had seen parts of each other they both had kept hidden from other people for so long that they craved to be able to lay it all bare now.

David took Matteo’s shirt by the hem before he slowly pulled it up and over Matteo’s head. Just like he did with his keys, he dropped the shirt right there on the spot, not caring where it would land. 

He saw Matteo breathe in deeply and it definitely wasn’t because he was cold. The warm summer air would last throughout the night, lulling them both in to make them feel safe and secure in each other’s arms.

Matteo had seen almost all of David at some point since that very first time they shared David’s bed,  _ almost _ everything. When Matteo’s hands snuck around David’s waist and under his shirt, David became painfully aware again of that one part of him that he hadn’t shown Matteo yet. He still let Matteo take his shirt off. Matteo’s hands were running over his back, sliding up David’s shirt inch by inch until they reached his shoulders. David held his arms up to help Matteo rid him of his shirt.

Before David even had a chance to feel too self-conscious, Matteo was finally kissing him. Their lips chasing each other, like they had been starving for years. Their bodies craving each other, like they were about to fall apart. If David could be doing anything for the rest of his life, he knew he would die happy if he got to kiss Matteo for as long as he would live.

Lost in his thoughts and this incredible feeling inside him that Matteo’s kisses always dragged out of him, David didn’t immediately notice how Matteo went for the button and zipper on his jeans. It wasn’t a big deal for him, at least not anymore, even though he still felt some kind of shame whenever he thought about what was, or rather wasn’t between his legs. 

It was a mixture of shame and guilt, emotions that he really shouldn’t feel. He had always been convinced that to be a ‘real’ man he had to change the body he was born in either a hundred percent or not bother at all, but that wasn’t what he wanted, at least not right now. What his body was like wasn’t even the most important thing to him. The only thing he needed was to know that he was a boy, regardless of what anyone else thought. And most importantly, he didn’t need to convince Matteo who he truly was. Matteo just knew and he accepted him the way he was, completely and without questions asked.

When Matteo went to open his trousers, it was something completely different that suddenly hit David though.

“Wait,” he whispered, effectively breaking their kiss as he covered Matteo’s hands with one of his own. 

Matteo’s hands halted instantly. There was a slight look of shock on his beautiful face, one that David wanted to disappear immediately.

“Do you want to stop?” Matteo asked, his voice hoarse and on the cusp of breaking. “We don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want to. We can just go to sleep and…”

“Shut up, Matteo,” David said before Matteo could ramble on and on. 

The sheer hurt that flashed over Matteo’s face for a split second broke David’s heart, so before Matteo could disappear into his own imaginary world, David stepped closer to him so their chests were touching.

“I don’t want to stop,” David said, reassuring Matteo that he was fine, that  _ this _ was fine. 

Relief flooded Matteo’s eyes, as he pressed their foreheads together. Matteo was holding onto him instinctively, keeping David close as if he was scared that he would just walk out and leave him if he let go.

“Are you okay?” Matteo asked.

That simple question made David’s heart clench. Matteo always thought of him first, he had always put David’s needs, and wants, and desires, on top without ever really thinking about what he wanted.

This realisation only enforced David’s determination to finally show Matteo everything, every little piece of him.

He always thought that he would never be ready to bear that part of himself for the world to see. He had always been afraid of Matteo falling in love with that part of him that he didn’t love himself. But when he looked at Matteo now, when he studied his eyes, how soft they were when he was staring right into his soul, David knew there was nothing to be afraid of anymore. He didn’t have to hide that part of him any longer. There was nothing he could do to make Matteo fall in love with him. Matteo was  _ already _ in love with every part of him.

David gave Matteo another quick kiss but didn’t answer his question. Instead he turned around in Matteo’s embrace so his back was to Matteo’s front. He turned his head and lifted his hand, resting it on the back of Matteo’s neck to pull him forward into a kiss. Matteo’s other hand was resting on David’s stomach, David’s free hand above his again.

“I’m more than okay,” David eventually said, when Matteo looked at him with a huge imaginary question mark over his head. “I want you to take it off.”

Even despite the barely lit room, he saw Matteo’s confusion, but instead of telling him what he meant, he wanted to show him. This did take David a huge amount of effort to overcome his reservations but he had to remind himself that this was Matteo he was baring his soul to, this was the man who made him believe in love for the first time ever. 

He took Matteo’s hand and slowly pushed it under the front of his binder. David inhaled when he felt Matteo on his skin where his hands had never been before. He was still torn, torn between wanting to trust Matteo with this and wanting to run. But that little voice inside his head kept telling him over and over again that this was okay, that this was good. This was the right thing to do.

David felt Matteo’s breath shutter on his neck. He wasn’t the only one this was a huge step for, and that simple fact made him feel better. 

“You really don’t have to do this,” Matteo whispered right next to his ear, and David believed him. Matteo’s words were so genuine, it almost hurt. “There is no rush. If you’re not ready, you don’t have to force yourself just for my sake.”

Not once did David think he wanted to do this for Matteo, he wanted to do this for  _ them _ . He had learned the hard way that you had to fight for your happiness but Matteo made that fight so much easier. Opening up this part of himself to Matteo was the next step to actually winning that fight - together.

“I am ready,” David said, turning over to look at Matteo again. “I feel safe with you.”

Matteo had no chance to react in any way. Instead of waiting any longer, David took his binder off his chest by himself. He let it drop on the floor next to where he suspected their shirts to be somewhere on the floor. 

There were a billion thoughts running through his head, everything from more shame and more guilt, to relief and pure happiness. 

“I don’t want to hide from you anymore,” David said as he turned around in Matteo’s arms again, their naked chests touching for the very first time. 

It was new and exhilarating. It was brave and daring but worth every risk when David saw Matteo’s glowing eyes.

“You’re as gorgeous as you’ve always been,” Matteo said before he kissed David again.

They were so lost in each other from that moment on that not much else mattered that night. The rest of their clothes got taken off and thrown carelessly around the room just as their shirts had been. They somehow managed to stumble towards David’s bed without injuring themselves in the process, and when David was lying down with Matteo’s eyes wandering over every inch of his naked body, he expected to feel exposed, to see disgust or shock on Matteo’s face, but instead the corner of Matteo’s mouth raised ever so slightly.

“Beautiful,” Matteo simply said before he went to join David on the bed.

It was in that moment that David was convinced that he would never have to hide again. That sheer look of desire in Matteo’s eyes told him this was the right step. Not just for himself, but for them. He had made the right decision in trusting Matteo. When Matteo began kissing down his sternum right to his stomach where David was the most sensitive, all those original doubts and fears vanished. 

Laying himself all out in the open, exposing this part of him that he had had trouble with all his life, this was what David needed and what he had longed for for so long. Matteo gave him everything he had ever dared to dream of. Matteo didn’t define him by his body, Matteo saw him for who he truly was, and the fact that he appreciated and loved David’s body on top of it all was just an added bonus David had never thought he would get. 

 

-

 

Laura could hardly remember what time she got home last night, or rather this morning. She did remember that she found David’s keys lying on the floor by the apartment door, so she assumed he was home, most likely with Matteo in tow. 

But none of that really mattered as she made herself a huge pot of black coffee, knowing full well that she wouldn’t have to share it with the boys.

She was in no condition, or mood, to cook herself a proper breakfast. Her head was pounding and her eyes probably so swollen that she looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks.

The ringing in her ears barely disappeared by the time the coffee was ready. She made herself a large mug of coffee, filled to the brim, no room for sugar or milk. That coffee was her only way of actually turning into some sort of human being that day. The thought of having to work in a few hours made her momentarily regret having gone out to that party last night.

Laura was slumped over the kitchen table, her fingers curled around that steaming hot mug of black coffee when she heard lazy footsteps trudging her way.

It wasn’t quite lunch time yet and under normal circumstances she wouldn’t have expected David and Matteo to leave their room until early afternoon, but she quickly remembered that David was already leaving for Fürstenberg today.

“You look like a wasted gremlin,” Matteo said to Laura as him and David sat down opposite her.

“Takes one to know one,” Laura mumbled into the table, not wanting to move and make her headache even worse. 

Matteo and David laughed, not with her, but at her. She knew. Laura still loved to hear those sounds. It meant that David was happy and she would give anything to see him happy. 

“I had  _ one _ beer last night,” Matteo said in his defense, pretend-shock covering his face when Laura eventually looked up at him. “You look like you had at least an entire bottle of tequila.”

Laura wanted to respond with something snarky but she didn’t have the energy. Instead she just looked over at David and said, “You’re really going to let your boyfriend talk to me like that?”

David raised an amused eyebrow at her, and Laura immediately knew what he was going to say.

“If it’s the truth, it’s the truth,” David simply said, shrugging his shoulders as he went past Laura to get something to eat for himself and Matteo.

“You’re both horrible, horrible people,” Laura whined, her head back down on the table, her cheek resting on her forearm, so she could still look at the boys.

She watched them as they made themselves some toast. They were both absolutely useless in the kitchen unless Matteo was making some pasta. When it came to breakfast and Laura didn’t cook anything for them, they always ended up with toast and nutella, or some cheese on the occasions Laura had bought some.

When she watched her brother with Matteo, she couldn’t help but smile through her headache, regardless of how painful it was to even move a single muscle in her body. David had become so carefree and had finally begun to enjoy life without his brain forcing him to constantly think about how he was different from other people. Matteo had shown him that he was just fine the way he was. It was something Laura had tried to make David understand for years, with only mediocre success. 

But it didn’t matter anymore who made David see his self-worth, as long as he acknowledged it. If anything, Laura was delighted that David found Matteo, and she had to admit that she was quite fond of Matteo as well. If she weren’t, they certainly wouldn’t be able to tease each other the way they did by now.

“Do you want some toast? Nutella? Cheese?” David asked her from the kitchen counter as Matteo busied himself with spreading some butter onto the first couple of slices of toast.

“In that combination?” Laura asked, her hands still holding onto that mug of coffee, “No, thank you.”

David just huffed at her, but he threw her one of his most genuine smiles she had ever seen grace his lips and that instantly made her feel a little better, even if her stomach kept protesting.

Laura kept watching them with eagle eyes as the boys made themselves some breakfast. They seemed to be in a good mood, laughing with each other, using every opportunity they had to touch the other, stealing glances at each other when the other one wasn’t looking. But something struck her when she focussed on Matteo.

He was smiling whenever he looked at David, but as soon as David turned away, Matteo’s smile faltered. The look in his eyes was suddenly far away, sadness and fear pooling in the depth of the never ending blue colour of them. His shoulders slumped, his face lost that infectious, radiant glow it normally had to it, the one that was always so visible when he was near David. 

But something was off and Laura couldn’t quite put her finger on it. David didn’t give her the impression that anything was wrong. Matteo on the other hand gave her twice the headache she already had.  

 

-

 

Silence stretched out between them as they walked down to the train station, hand in hand, fingers entwined. Matteo was clinging to David’s hand like his life depended on it, and David began to believe it might have actually been the case.

He was scared to voice his concerns out loud, knowing full well that Matteo would just brush them aside and pretend that he was fine.

David didn’t wish for much these days as he had everything he needed and wanted. But one thing that still gnawed at his mind in what felt like a constant quiet ticking sound was Matteo keeping his emotional distance from him. He just wished Matteo would open up to him more, trust him with his hopes and fears the same way David did with him, last night being the perfect example. David had been at his most vulnerable and still let Matteo in. But Matteo was in his own little world, one where David couldn’t just reach out and brush his fingers along Matteo’s cheek to get his attention, to see that tiny private smile he loved so much, to stare into those bottomless blue eyes that always reminded him of the large expanse of the ocean.

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” David said in a lousy attempt to lighten the mood when they were finally stood on the platform, the train only a few minutes away.

“I have way too many people sticking their noses in my business to do that,” Matteo replied, pulling David in with his arms around his waist.

David tried to smile but he could feel it coming short. Matteo most likely didn’t even notice. 

“I’m going to miss you,” David admitted when Matteo hid his face in his shoulder. 

It was hard not seeing Matteo’s face, to not be able to see what he thought or how he felt, but David figured it was for the best. Neither of them was very big on love confessions but they both knew life was easier with the other one in it. 

“I’ll miss you too,” Matteo mumbled right into David’s shoulder. It was loud and busy on the train platform, but David heard every word. 

Hearing Matteo’s broken voice, his admission that this was just as hard for him as it was for David, should have made him happy, but instead it just made him miserable. 

Eventually Matteo disentangled himself from David. He took an awkward step backward, making David wince, but that was something else that probably completely passed by Matteo.

They stood there in silence once again, their eyes finding each other, communicating without any actual words. But David so wished Matteo would actually talk to him.

“So,” Matteo said, his hands buried deep inside his jeans’ pockets. He was pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as if he didn’t know what else he should say. He looked like he just wanted to get this over with so he could go and drown himself in his own misery.

David closed the gap between them. He carefully put his hands on the side of Matteo’s neck, resting his forehead against Matteo’s. 

“I don’t want to go,” he confessed, his words quiet and slow but he knew Matteo would hear him even from thousands of miles away. “But I have to.”

Matteo sighed deeply. His gorgeous blue eyes were closed, hidden behind long eyelashes that rested on his cheeks. “I love you,” he said, his hands reaching out for David again as if they had no choice, as if he needed to touch him again to know this was all still real and not just some horrible dream.

David kissed him.

He kissed him slowly, gently and with everything he had. This kiss had to tell Matteo everything David wasn’t ready to tell him with actual words. David expected so much from Matteo but it was in that moment that he realised that he didn’t exactly give Matteo everything he deserved either.

David could still feel Matteo’s lips on his, this tingling sensation of passion and desire, even when the kiss was over.

When the train finally stopped at the platform, Matteo leaned back again, leaving David cold and hollow instead of warm and fuzzy. 

“Guess I’ll see you in two weeks,” Matteo said. He looked like he wanted it to sound casual but David knew him too well by now. This now, this temporary goodbye, was anything but casual for Matteo.

“Two weeks,” David confirmed, before he stepped forward again, brushing his lips against Matteo’s one last time. 

He didn’t give Matteo a chance to reach out for him again. The kiss was over too quickly. 

David turned around without another second of hesitation. When he boarded the train he stole another glance at Matteo, wanting to get one last glimpse of the person who had made his summer the most amazing one yet.

Matteo shyly waved at him. He looked like a lost puppy and David couldn’t stand the sight of him like this. It took everything he had to not disembark from the train again and stay in Berlin with Matteo. This was a lot harder than he thought it would be.

When the train began to move and Matteo was out of his view in a matter of seconds, he was just not there anymore as if he had never been there in the first place.

David didn’t want to leave Matteo alone for two weeks. He was afraid of what kind of version of his boyfriend he would find when he came back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More on Wednesday (or Thursday). Stay tuned. :)
> 
> Feedback in any form is always appreciated. <3 Many, many thanks for the comments and kudos on the last chapter. It's much appreciated!


	3. III.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some info, David's text messages are always on the left, Matteo's always on the right.

It had barely been five hours since Matteo dropped David off at the station to catch his train. To Matteo it seemed like an eternity. He wasn’t used to being on his own anymore. He couldn’t even remember what that was actually like. David had changed everything, every little thing about Matteo’s life, and Matteo didn’t want to change any of it back. He liked his life the way it was now with David it in.

Thinking about David’s massive influence on him, even Matteo himself realised how pathetic he was. David was only gone for two weeks, he wasn’t gone forever. They didn’t break up and Matteo wasn’t alone. He still had David. The only difference for the next fourteen days was that they weren’t in the same place. 

But even that seemed like a huge obstacle to Matteo, one that he so desperately wanted to overcome. He just didn’t know how.

One thing that had always helped him deal with, or rather distract him from anything was weed. He had almost completely stopped smoking since things with David had become serious but now that David wasn’t there, Matteo didn’t have another outlet to deal with his issues, with himself.

On his way home from the train station he had spend a few hours just strolling through the city, despising all the happy couples walking around hand-in-hand, laughing with each other, touching each other, kissing each other. He wanted that and right now he couldn’t have it. That was reason enough for Matteo to stop by his trusted neighbourhood dealer.

He passed the 30,- Euro over to the guy, more than he had normally spend in the past, and reached out to take his weed. The second he held it in his hands after such a long time, Matteo instantly felt bad. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this. There were other, more healthy ways to deal with David’s absence, spend time with his friends for example, but he couldn’t bring himself to consider any of those other options. Drowning in his own misery seemed like the easiest way out.

When Matteo arrived back at the flat share half an hour later, he was thankful that no one seemed to be home. It was late afternoon, almost evening, on a Saturday night. The others were most likely busy, just as Matteo should be as well. But he wasn’t.

He dropped dead on his bed, face first and without even bothering to take off his shoes. Deep down Matteo knew that he was blowing this all out of proportion. David would be furious with him if he knew that Matteo was falling back into old habits on day one and so easily as well. 

And that was the biggest problem of them all. It was only day one. Even Matteo was scared of where he was going to be on day fourteen.

Eventually he managed to bring himself to sit up, take off his shoes and make himself semi-comfortable on the bed. His fingers were fishing around in his trousers’ pockets for the weed as his eyes drifted around his room.

They quickly landed on David’s grey sweater which had kind of become a part of the inventory in Matteo’s room. It was peak summer but Matteo had been hogging that sweater for a long time. It always made him feel better.

For a fraction of a second, he hesitated. His hand stilled, fingers curled around the bag of weed, as his eyes tried to fully comprehend the meaning of David’s sweater, what it meant to him and especially what David, David who was gone for two weeks, meant to him.

It only took another moment for Matteo to stand up and put the sweater away. He buried it in the depth of his wardrobe. Out of sight and out of mind, as they say, or as Matteo hoped.

He quickly prepared his joint and then dragged himself out to the balcony. The sun was still shining brightly but the trees around the building were tall enough to throw some shade.

Matteo slid down the wall, the door to his room still open to let the summer air in. He lit up the joint, a little nagging voice in the back of his head telling him he shouldn’t but he ignored it completely and shut it out. The first drag tasted like regret, but the second and third and fourth came with a sense of relief. 

He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. When he saw that it was David of all people texting him, Matteo considered the joint in his hand more closely. He debated with himself, that voice in his head getting louder again, only for him cave. 

Matteo sighed and put the joint out reluctantly, angry with himself more than anything else.

Unlocking his phone to check David’s message, Matteo’s guilty conscience kicked in immediately. It wasn’t as if David was against smoking weed, he had done it with Matteo plenty of times after all. It was just that Matteo had always seen weed as a distraction from having to deal with his problems and emotions. Now he didn’t have these issues anymore, now he had David. And if once in a while life threw something else messy his way, he had David to figure things out with, and work through it all. Precisely because of that, he couldn’t shake the guilt when he put the joint aside.

When he checked David’s message, there was single, irritating message.

**_Remember, sometimes it’s just about the lyrics…_ **

As soon as he had read the message, David sent him a link to a video, and what appeared to be song lyrics. 

Matteo immediately got up to grab his headphones before he forced his tired limbs back to his bed. He put his headphones on and clicked on the video David had sent him but he decided to just ignore the video. If he had learned one thing about music from David and Jonas, it was that music videos were overrated. It took too much away from the actual song. Matteo’s eyes were too exhausted to pay any attention to the video anyway.

He laid back and curled in on himself, focusing the tiny bit of energy he could still muster on the lyrics, just as David had asked him to.

When the song was over for the first time, Matteo went back to David’s message to read it again.

**_‘You’re in my heart now and there’s no escaping it for you.’_ **

The song was on repeat, playing those same words over and over again. Matteo was sure David meant to cheer him up, show him how much he meant to him but all it did was make him feel miserable. He missed David more than he would ever be able to explain it to anyone, least of all himself or David.

So he did the only thing he could think of. He replied with lyrics from the song and hoped that David would get it.

**_‘Cause you are the sun in my universe.’_ **

Matteo didn’t see the next message he got from David. His eyes were closed shut as tears threatened to escape them, but Matteo wouldn’t let them. He wouldn’t give in. He wouldn’t admit defeat. David had given him so much, had shown him that he could handle anything and if there was one thing he didn’t want to do, it was to disappoint him.

**_I mi ** _ss you._**_ **

 

-

 

Laura was all packed and ready to leave the next morning. Now that she thought about it, David should have just waited for her and go with her on Monday. But perhaps this was a good thing after all. The fact that David had already left gave her a chance to catch Matteo on his own.

Ever since she had seen Matteo with David the day before during breakfast, she couldn’t get Matteo’s sad puppy eyes out of her head. Even despite her huge hangover did she notice that something wasn’t quite as it should be. Matteo had seemed absent and distracted. She hadn’t seen him like that since the very beginning of him chasing after David.  

What Laura was about to do wasn’t something she would do for anybody but she had taken quite a liking to Matteo and he obviously meant the world to David, so even though she hadn’t talked to David about it all before she had texted Matteo, she was certain he wouldn’t mind.

Half an hour after Laura had sent Matteo a message asking him to come over, the doorbell rang. She buzzed Matteo up to the apartment and greeted him at the front door with a hug, happy to see him. 

“Hey,” Matteo said simply before she engulfed him in her arms.

When Laura took a step back, she looked at Matteo from head to toe. She instantly noticed the bags under his eyes, the distance in the way he looked at her, even despite his best efforts to smile at her. He wore a pair of light grey sweatpants that seemed at least two sizes too big for him. A black t-shirt, undoubtedly one of David’s, hung loosely from his shoulders. His hair was messier than she had seen it in a long time. He looked exhausted.

“You look like shit,” she finally said, trying to lighten the mood by bickering with him. Normally that worked just fine, that was just the way they were with each other, but right now, Matteo just shrugged his shoulders.

“What else is new?” he asked sarcastically before he walked past her straight into the kitchen.

Laura watched him walk away and sighed. Today Matteo seemed even worse than the day before which was something she had thought wouldn’t be possible. She had grown to love Matteo just like he was another brother and the sight of him so broken made her feel terrible.

She followed him in silence and found Matteo slumped over on the kitchen table. Instead of trying to make any more senseless smalltalk, Laura just busied herself with pouring herself a cup of coffee, not asking Matteo if he wanted one since she knew what he would say anyway. Instead, she got some ice cold water out of the fridge and set the glass down right in front of him. 

“What’s going on, Matteo?” she asked as she sat down at the table as well, her eyes fixed intently on her brother’s boyfriend.

Matteo looked up at her very slowly, eyes shallow as if, for a moment, he didn’t register where he was. “Nothing much,” he mumbled. “Just trying to stay alive as always.”

He was attempting to grin, to make light of the situation, but everything about him screamed the exact opposite. This was way more serious than he let on and Laura could tell that even Matteo knew as much.

“Well,” Laura said after a second of contemplation, “I guess it helps to have something to do.” She hoped that Matteo would take the bait, otherwise she was out of options. “I need someone to come by every other day to water the plants and take out the mail. The weather is too hot for all the plants to survive for two weeks until David and I are back.”

Matteo looked at her. He tilted his head in question just like David always did, a sure fire sign that the boys had spent an insane amount of time together over the past few months. “And you want me to be that someone?” he asked, one eyebrow raised as if he didn’t quite believe her.

“Who else could I possibly be talking to right now?” she asked mockingly, gently pushing his arm from across the table. “I trust you or rather I trust that you’re too scared of me to let my plants die while I’m away.”

Matteo huffed but he couldn’t hide the small smile from his face, the first genuine smile from him Laura had seen that day. 

She got up again and began searching for her keys out in the hallway. When she finally found them in the depth of her purse, she took off the extra set of keys for the building, the apartment and the mailbox. 

Back at the kitchen table, she slid the keys along the table top to Matteo who eyed them suspiciously.

“Seriously?” he said a little offended, studying the little keychain in his hand, “Hello Kitty?” 

Laura couldn’t stop herself from laughing. Sometimes Matteo was just too predictable. “As if you didn’t go through an anime or manga phase in your lifetime,” she teased him. 

“I can honestly say that has never been the case,” Matteo said but he didn’t sound that convincing, Laura thought.

She just grinned at him and let it go.

In the end Laura made Matteo some food because she had a feeling that he hadn’t eaten anything since the previous morning, and that breakfast had been anything but good. The thought of toast and nutella and cheese still sent a shiver down her spine.

They ate in relative silence until Matteo thanked her whole-heartedly and told her he had to go.

Laura suspected that he didn’t really have any plans but she wasn’t going to challenge him on it either. She didn’t want to dig any deeper into that open wound she knew was already there thanks to David not being around. 

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning, so if you drop by on Tuesday or Wednesday for the first time, that would be great,” Laura said to Matteo once she accompanied him to the front door.

“Of course,” Matteo said before he turned around, probably trying to hide another one of his sad smiles.

“Hey,” Laura said, stopping him in his tracks. “Since when are you going without giving me a goodbye hug? I won’t be able to annoy you for almost two weeks. Are you really leaving me hanging here, Matteo?” 

She was teasing him once again, hoping desperately that Matteo understood her. She was trying to make him feel better although she could tell that it was a futile attempt.

Matteo sighed as if he was offended but the fact that one corner of his mouth was raised almost involuntarily told her that he wasn’t.

“You’re more than welcome to come here and stay whenever you need to, okay? David won’t mind,” she assured him as he put her arms tightly around him.

The way Matteo returned the hug, forceful and a little too eager, told Laura everything she needed to know without him actually saying it out loud. David being gone was much harder on Matteo than she would have anticipated, but she was sure that David himself didn’t do any better back in Fürstenberg.

Laura messed up Matteo’s hair even more when they finally let go of each other. 

“Gremlin,” Matteo mumbled as he finally turned around to leave. 

“Takes one to know one,” Laura shouted after him, repeating her own words back at him from the day before.

She sighed deeply as she watched him disappear down the stairwell. If Matteo was already this down on day one, she didn’t even want to find out how David would be doing on day two when she saw him the next day. 

 

-

 

Ever since he had gotten home from his visit to see Laura, Matteo had been looking forward to just crashing on his bed until he fell asleep. Knowing that he had lied to her, even if it was just a tiny lie, was doing things to his conscious he didn’t like. 

To make it all even worse, he was convinced that she saw through his lies. Of course he didn’t have any plans. He just needed to leave her apartment. 

It had been too strange to be there when David wasn’t. Matteo had spent so much time over there since him and David had gotten together and normally he was comfortable there, so much so that he began to prefer to spend his nights there instead of his flat share. 

But that apartment was haunted when David wasn’t there. It had almost felt like something was stealing the air from his lungs as soon as he stepped into that apartment earlier. It was scary.

Now, Matteo just wanted to forget. Forget that awful feeling like he had been in the wrong apartment, like David had never been there, like  _ he _ had never been there. 

He curled in on himself, his headphones on and his phone in hand, ready to text David to feel at least some sort of normality.

That plan was swiftly interrupted by Hans however.

“Linn and I want to watch  _ Kinky Boots _ ,” he said after he opened the door to Matteo’s bedroom without knocking, just like he always did.

“So?” Matteo asked, already bored and a little annoyed that he never got his peace when he wanted it the most.

“You’re going to join us, my little butterfly,” Hans said without further ado. He grabbed Matteo’s hand and hauled him out of his bed.

Matteo held on tightly to his phone but otherwise let himself be dragged along out into the living room where Linn was already waiting for them.

Her and Hans had prepared some sort of snack buffet. There was so much food that even the thought of it made Matteo want to puke. He had only forced the food Laura had cooked down because he wanted to be polite. She had put time and effort into cooking, and he didn’t want to disappoint her. 

But all the crisps and dips, chocolate and gummy bears that were laid out on the coffee table in front of Matteo now made him feel queasy. He swallowed hard and tried to ignore the food as well as he could.

Soon enough Linn pressed play on the tv remote. Matteo let himself be lulled into a pleasant state of mind where he didn’t really care about anything anymore.

He didn’t pay much attention to the film, mostly because he wasn’t interested, but also because he had already seen the film with David and Laura, both of whom said that the actual stage musical is way better, not that Matteo had any way to agree or disagree since he had never seen it.

Just before he actually fell asleep, his phone vibrated in his hand.

**_Hope you’re not too bored?!_ **

There was actually no good way for Matteo to respond to that question from David. Instead he snapped a picture of Lola and Charlie on the TV screen and sent that to David.

**_Please tell me you’re not watching that on your own?_ **

That actually made Matteo smile weakly. David hated the film but Matteo didn’t mind too much. It was dull and the perfect excuse to just zone out without anyone noticing.

**_Hans made me leave my bed to watch it with him and Linn._ **

**_Can’t say that I’m paying attention_ ** _. _

He didn’t have to wait for David’s reply for long.

**_You scared me for a second._ **

**_Thought I was talking to some sort of imposter who took over my boyfriend’s body._ **

David had a weird imagination, that much Matteo knew. But it was something he absolutely loved about him and it sure would help him become successful in the film business sooner or later. 

Matteo wanted to text back but before he could, he received another message from David, one that made him miss him even more than he already did.

**_Are you doing okay?_ **

That was another question Matteo had no idea how to answer truthfully. He didn’t want to lie but he didn’t want to worry David either. He wanted David to enjoy his time in Fürstenberg and he wasn’t ready to ruin it for him.

**_I’m fine. Just miss you._ **

As soon as he pressed send, Matteo wanted to shout. He hated lying, especially to David, but he consoled himself with the fact that at least only half of what he wrote was an actual lie. 

 

-

 

Even two hours later David still thought it was equally amusing and worrisome that Matteo would let himself be talked into watching  _ Kinky Boots _ \- again. Although he suspected that Matteo didn’t really pay attention the first time around when he watched it with David and Laura either.

Regardless, just the mental picture of his boyfriend and his roommates sitting together in their flat to watch that film made David smile. He missed Matteo immensely but knowing that he hopefully didn’t spend all of his time on his own while David was away was at least a glimmer of hope. 

Just to tease Matteo even more, David finally decided which song he was going to send Matteo today. It was perfectly fitting and he had so many awesome memories when it came to this specific song, with both Matteo and Laura.

He sent Matteo the link to the audio file and some lyrics.

**_‘Once I was afraid, but then you came along,_ **

**_Put your faith in me and I was challenged to be strong,_ **

**_When I lost my way, you were there to see me through,_ **

**_Now let Lola lend some love and do the same for you!’_ **

David didn’t have to wait too long for Matteo’s reply and it was exactly what he was expecting.

**_Do you want me to call you Lola from now on?_ **

**_In your dreams maybe._ **

**_Done deal._ **

**_Will let you know when I wake up tomorrow if that worked._ **

David was still sitting outside on the terrace at his godmother’s house. It was a gorgeous place but it all somehow felt less exciting without Matteo there.

He sighed, already fed up with the distance between them and it was still only the first proper day away from Matteo. 

Already typing in his reply, Matteo beat him to it and sent him more lyrics from the song.

**_‘Never put much heart in anything before,_ **

**_You strut into my life and help me go for something more.’_ **

If David hadn’t already been madly in love before, he definitely was now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so late! This week's been straight from hell unfortunately.
> 
> The songs David sends Matteo are:  
> \- "Built to Last" by Melee  
> \- "Raise You Up / Just Be" from the musical Kinky Boots (as you're probably guessed).
> 
> More (hopefully) on Tuesday or Wednesday. Stay tuned. :)
> 
> Feedback in any form is always appreciated. <3 Many, many thanks for the comments and kudos on the last chapters. Certainly helps to keep me motivated! :)


End file.
